Pulse
Full Member
I only log on to destroy Kspam's karma.
Posts: 211
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Post by Pulse on Jul 1, 2009 13:01:01 GMT -6
Our hero SS=kspam receives the Necronomicon from an old hag, who smells of toilet water, lemon Pledge, and that mystery smudge in my iguana's tank. Our hero tries to summon Chip the Chiffon Cake Warrior from Down the Drain. I'd say our hero had success, but that wouldn't be much of corruption now would it? Back to this tale, instead of Chip the Chiffon Cake Warrior...our hero summons a demon that burns him to a crisp. Our hero survives with just third degree burns and women will never find him attractive again. Moral of this calumnious tale: our hero should never accept gift from mystery hags and I should never write stories after downing my second large Mocha Frappuccino with three shots of espresso. I wish for a Frappuccino. What do you mean women won't ever find him attractive AGAIN? When did they start!? HA. And Kspam always forgets to make a wish... On to business. Granted. Brawl online is exactly like Brawl offline. Everyone needs to be on the same Wii in the same room. The only difference is that one says "play online" (not the best corruption, sorry). I wish to choose a main character in Brawl, who I enjoy being, and who I am good enough to compete competitively with.
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Post by мғв=Bane on Jul 2, 2009 16:38:42 GMT -6
Mr. forgetful. Don't call out K-Spam when you forget your wish too. If you edit it in I may answer it in this post.
I wish that my left arm was an Mega Buster!
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Post by Sorairo.Nia. on Jul 2, 2009 19:44:42 GMT -6
Someone is a little too in love with Megaman....Oh right. Congratulations! Your left arm is now a Mega Buster. On the first day of your senior year of high school you walk through the doors and Officer Kyle tackles your carcass to the ground because you brought a "weapon" to school and bringing a "weapon" to school is a bad thing. So what happens next is you’re hauled off to the principal's office and after so many minutes of lecturing and arguing, you're expelled from school. Don't worry there's an upside to this(I think), you start your own odd jobs service and gain to two subordinates; a crazy pickled seaweed loving girl who walks around with a gun/parasol and a guy who wants to learn your bushido.
I wish I had the meat cleaver that Rena Ryuugu has.
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Pulse
Full Member
I only log on to destroy Kspam's karma.
Posts: 211
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Post by Pulse on Jul 3, 2009 12:01:29 GMT -6
Mr. forgetful. Don't call out K-Spam when you forget your wish too. If you edit it in I may answer it in this post. I wish that my left arm was an Mega Buster! What do you mean I forgot?? Read my post. I wished to find a main character that I was good with and liked. I found it, so already granted. Business time. Granted. You have her meat cleaver. Embedded in your skull. I've heard of an icepick lobotomy, but not a meat cleaver one. Oh well. I wish my parents would understand that videogames are a valid and valuable use of time. (I PUT A SPACE BETWEEN THE WISH AND THE GRANTED WISH SO YOU COULD SEE IT THIS TIME BANE!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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Post by Zephron on Jul 3, 2009 12:49:01 GMT -6
Granted. Your parents now agree with your point. However, they now are in love with videogames as well. In fact, they're hogging your wii, PS2/PS3, X-box, and any other console in your house. You ask to play, but instead they give you chores to do.
Sure you are allowed playing videogames as much as you want now, but good luck actually doing it!
I wish I could win the BlizzCon costume contest.
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Post by мғв=Bane on Jul 4, 2009 10:26:22 GMT -6
It's not that hard to win a costume contest when you spend many days working on it. After many hours of ceaseless toil, you walk into BlizzCon and realize no one else besides the costume judging staff is around. It seems that the people either got sick with a disease transmitted through touch (gotten from shaking hands at other Cons), their mothers wouldn't let them go, or they had dates. The last one seemed quite preposterous, but considering the stereotypical Con goer is a social outcast, how could they refuse? So you win...by default.
I wish I had an endless pot of gold.
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Post by Sorairo.Nia. on Jul 4, 2009 14:19:14 GMT -6
Wish Granted. You walk into a bar and sit down; next to you is a leprechaun who had one too many shots of tequila and is now passed out. You notice from the corner of your eye is the leprechaun’s endless pot of gold. Quickly looking around to see no one is looking you steal the pot of gold. After you walk out of the bar with the pot of gold, it soon becomes obvious that you are now the richest man in the world. You can now have anything and everything you want. Excited and now consumed with greed, you start spending away the endless pot of gold. Though, the prices of gold drops as you keep spending. Soon enough such common metals like iron become more valuable. The world leaders realize that they must put an end to you as soon as possible before the world falls into utter chaos. Since you stalked up on security and protection because you became paranoid that people were out to get you, they can’t dispose of you themselves. They must resort to their last measure, the Jigoku Shoujo otherwise known as Enma Ai. One person one night accesses the Hell Correspondence website at midnight and Enma Ai appears to deliver them the curse doll. They pull the string and the doll floats away announcing in a menacing tone, “Your revenge has been granted." The pain then begins as Enma Ai and her subordinates come to drag you to hell. You plead for your life as Enma Ai says her infamous words, “How would you like to see what death is like?" You black out and soon wake up on a boat as Enma Ai ferries down the River Styx to the Entrance of Hell. When you two reach come upon the entrance, they will not let you in. It becomes obvious that even Hell won't allow you in. Enma Ai turns the boat around starts going up river. You being confused demand to know where the two of you are now going. Enma Ai remains speechless as she continues ferrying the boat, after sometime later she lands on a river bank and gets out. She asks that you get out too and after a moment of deciding whether or not to do as she says; she grabs you by the shirt collar and drags you out of the small boat. You both walk for what seems like hours and soon come upon the World of Twilight, where Enma Ai lives. At this point she turns to you and says that since neither Hell nor Heaven will let you because of your greed, you are to spend the rest of eternity as her subordinate. Oh well, enjoy servitude. ^^;;
I wish I had some aspirin.
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Post by мғв=Bane on Jul 4, 2009 21:03:59 GMT -6
So, you reach into your cup-board for some medicine. Something for your aching head. Aspirin! Just what you need. You're going to gulp down two. Wait. Why can't you breath? Oh right, you are alergic. Silly you! Quite the mistake, eh?
I wish I didn't feel like I was a terrible poster.
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Post by Zephron on Jul 4, 2009 22:14:42 GMT -6
Granted. You feel that you are now the world's best poster. You think your posts are thoughtful, kind, and intriguing to all who read them. There's just one thing. You can't stop posting. You find you're posting in every dead topic and in everything imaginable on the forums, as well as making new threads about completely random things. Soon the random board reaches 100,000 posts, and your post count is over 500,000.
The PLS boards are forced to perma-ban you as you do not listen to their pleas. It turns out that even though you think you're a great poster, no one else agrees. You create elaborate excuses and arguments full of drama, every forum and place you go. Eventually you are no longer accepted anywhere, and your brawl skill decreases to uber scrub level, and you are now an emo anti-social.
I tried my best with that one. It's an iffy corruption.
Anyway... I wish Bill Gates would die suddenly from cardiac arrest, and Steve Jobs would reign supreme as the best computer maker in the world. (And he doesn't die.)
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Post by мғв=Bane on Jul 6, 2009 10:09:24 GMT -6
Meh, at the end it was kind of "what does this have to do with posting?" but the lead up was pretty good.
July 2013, Bill Gates dies after a prolonged battle with random cardic arrests. It seems that his medical bills make Microsoft unable to compete. With Microsoft destroyed, this leaves Mac by default as the computer industry leader.
December 2014, news breaks that Steve Jobs had actually posioned Bill Gates with a Neurotoxin that made Gate's heart randomly stop. These charges cannot be proven.
May 2015, Microsoft has been reborn and it's now dueling Mac for consumers. Microsoft is still having problems with the massive debt incured in restarting, but it's productrs are far superior.
July 2015, after two months of new management, Microsoft has taken over the computer market and forced Mac back into it's subserviant position to Microsoft. Steve Jobs commits suicide because he has so utterly failed to make Mac the computer of future generations.
I wish I didn't need to sleep.
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G.i.R.
New Member
I will rule you all with my iron fist! You, obey the fist!
Posts: 44
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Post by G.i.R. on Jul 6, 2009 13:07:51 GMT -6
granted, but now since you don't sleep, you beat all the games you have ever wanted to beat and you are now bored out of your mind because there is nothing left to do and spend the rest of your life sitting on the couch eating potato chips. i wish i was a master swordsman with no flaws in my techniques.
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Post by Sorairo.Nia. on Jul 6, 2009 14:52:25 GMT -6
Wish Granted. You are now a master swordsman, almost sword fanatics everywhere marvel at your swordsmen skills. Though, there is a slight few who are jealous of you and have become consumed with the desire to kill you. They hone up on their other weapons skills. You receive a calling card to battle from them and accept their invitation to battle. One night, you all meet up in an abandoned warehouse and start battling to the death. The battle pursues on for hours and fatigue starts to set in. Suddenly you make one slight screw up, one of your opponents takes their meat cleaver and chops your head off. Victory goes to your opponents.
I wish I could control fire.
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Post by мғв=Bane on Jul 7, 2009 18:51:01 GMT -6
Great, you can control fire. You burn random animals ask you walk down the street, laughing at the flaming furballs. After a good day of burning, you sit down at your computer and post this: Suddenly you make one slight screw up, Which is responded to as: Are you an idiot? His technique is flawless! He doesn't lose because of mistakes because flawless technique means he MAKES NO MISTAKES! What's this? You, the controller of fire, has been burnt! He's trolling and preparing to start a flame war! You can't compete with that! Dejected, you sit down and invent a new type of outcast, the pyro-emo. Instead of hurting oneself with knifes, you hurt yourself with fire. I wish I could tolerate the funny smell in the car I drive.
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Fuu
Full Member
Some live, some die
Posts: 138
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Post by Fuu on Jul 7, 2009 19:16:50 GMT -6
Granted. You can tolerate the smell, but the smell is still poisonous gas. You die from the poisonous gas. I wish that when the day comes that Bane insults the wrong person and that person starts pounding the crap out of him, I'm there to observe it. I'm sorry about this kid.
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Post by Zephron on Jul 8, 2009 12:08:02 GMT -6
Granted. Congratulations! Bane has insulted someone for the last time. A huge fight ensues, and luckily you've got a front row seat. However, Bane wins the fight, and catches you cheering for the other guy. He starts fighting you, and you get pounded the crap out of you.
I wish I was a Black Mage. (With the powers, and stuff.)
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